How many can you get right?!! The last one's great....
man
------
board
Ans. = man overboard
Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.
stand
-------
i
Ans. = I understand
OK.... Got the drift? Let's try a few now and see how you fare?
/r/e/a/d/i/n/g/
Ans. = reading between the lines
r
road
a
d
Ans. = cross road
Not having a good day now, are you?Redeem yourself.
cycle cycle cycle
Ans. = tricycle
Not easy to figure out ha!
0
------
M.D.
Ph.D.
Ans. = two degrees below zero
C'mon give it a little thought!!
knee
--------
light
Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
U can prove u r smart by getting this one.
ground
------------------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet
Ans. = six feet underground
Oh no, not again!!
he's X himself
Ans. = he's by himself
Now u messing up big time.
ecnalg
Ans. = backward glance
Not even close!!
death . life
Ans. = life after death
Okay last chance ................
THINK
Ans. = think big!!
And the last one is real fundoo............
ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....
Ans. = long time no 'C' (see)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Play with words...too good....
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Vanilla Ice Cream that puzzled General Motors!!
Interesting story...Never underestimate your client's complaint, no matter how funny it might seem! This is a real story that happened between a customer of General Motors and its Customer Care Executive. A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
"This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we have eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream my car starts just fine. I want you to know I am serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds. "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?" The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had managed to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and, sure enough after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start. The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night, he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start. Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And towards this end he began to take notes. He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, types of gas uses, time to drive back and forth, etc. In a short time he had a clue. The man took less time to buy vanilla ice cream than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour. Now, the question for the engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. EUREKA ! Time was now the problem not the vanilla ice cream!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: "vapour lock". It was happening every night, but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.
Lessons Learned: Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking
"This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we have eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream my car starts just fine. I want you to know I am serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds. "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?" The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had managed to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and, sure enough after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start. The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night, he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start. Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And towards this end he began to take notes. He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, types of gas uses, time to drive back and forth, etc. In a short time he had a clue. The man took less time to buy vanilla ice cream than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour. Now, the question for the engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. EUREKA ! Time was now the problem not the vanilla ice cream!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: "vapour lock". It was happening every night, but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.
Lessons Learned: Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking
Something to Cheer You Up!
Lee Sum Wan : Hello can i speak to Annie Wan
Mr Sori : Yes u could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan : No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr Sori : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Lee Sum Wan : Im Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori : I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori : Im Sori.
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr Sori : Im Sori!!
Lee Sum Wan : I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your name!
Mr Sori : Look lady, I told you already Im Sori! Im Sori!! Im SORI !!! you didnt even give me your name!
Lee Sum Wan : I told u before im Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the co. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori : Oh im so scared (sarcastically). Look i dont care about ur uncle he’s a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.
Lee Sum Wan : No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn’t work there.
Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sis!
Mr. Sori : I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i’ll broadcast it on the P.A system saying. “Attention, someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if u’re their uncle, u’re a nobody. “how bout that!? Toot....Toot....Toot............
Mr Sori : Yes u could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan : No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr Sori : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Lee Sum Wan : Im Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori : I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori : Im Sori.
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr Sori : Im Sori!!
Lee Sum Wan : I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your name!
Mr Sori : Look lady, I told you already Im Sori! Im Sori!! Im SORI !!! you didnt even give me your name!
Lee Sum Wan : I told u before im Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the co. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori : Oh im so scared (sarcastically). Look i dont care about ur uncle he’s a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.
Lee Sum Wan : No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn’t work there.
Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sis!
Mr. Sori : I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i’ll broadcast it on the P.A system saying. “Attention, someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if u’re their uncle, u’re a nobody. “how bout that!? Toot....Toot....Toot............
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good). We always hear "the rules"From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
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